Friday, August 12, 2011

Ao's draft

Black time (draft)


Notes: the story is based on the movie called The Sixth Sense (1999) and it happened before Dr. Malcolm met Cole and after Dr. Malcolm died.

Wiki link The Sixth Sense

What happened to me?

“Shit!”

“I’m dying? I’ve been shot? Why I can’t feel cold anymore? Eh…I’ll...fall into...sleep…cuz so tired.” Malcolm thinks.

“Malcolm…Malcolm...Malcolm” the voice of is vanishing over Doctor’s ears.

At next morning, he actually feels good. However one thing keeps bothering him, which is what happened last night? His memory is discontinuous. He just remembers one name called Vincent and the shout of his wife Anna. He wants to figure out the problem.

He plans to have a conversation with his wife, but Anna isn’t in the mood to talk. The fact is that he finds that she is extremely sad without any reason that he can imply to.

“What happened? What is the connection with the patient Vincent?”

He totally has no idea. “I have to work. Those children are waiting for me. I can’t be overreacted the matter happened last night. It will be fine.” he says to himself.

Weird things occur to him again and again. His patients don’t show up at his treatment room even one of them. His wife keeps crying almost every day. Besides, she ignore him as a stranger even no responding his question. He has no idea what to do expect keep waiting for both of his patients and his wife talking to him.

“Life is making fun of me”, he thinks, “I must find out what happened that night.”

“I need to know what changed my life. Yes, I can talk to Vincent Gray.”


Looking for Vincent Gray

“What?”

He is at the funeral of Vincent Gray. “Vincent died? How? When?”

Nobody replies his asking. Unfortunately, Malcolm who was the son of Philadelphia rewarded form the Mayor is like the air now.

“What a pathetic I am!” He hates this word to explain the situation that he is in, but facts doesn’t lie.

He can’t wait anymore and Vincent can’t give him the answers. The key is in his memory which cannot remember. He decides to recall his memories by reading the file of Vincent.

“You have a secret but you don’t want to tell me”…

“You are not a freak. Don’t you believe anybody that tells you that. It’s bullshit.”…

“Do you really see those ‘dead’ people?”…

Sounds come from the type of the conversation between him and Vincent. In addition, he also checks the document and he focuses on a final word, “hallucinations.”

“Am I wrong?”

After a few days, he is not care about the question, what happened that night, anymore. He works so hard to rethink the Vincent’s case. At same time, he finds that in Anna’s sorrow there is a little bit angry or not exactly angry more like depressed feeling of him.

“What have I done to my wife?”

Suddenly, he remembers a call from his friend who is a child psychologist same as him few days before that night. He decides to see his friend and discuss about the matter his word during the calling.


The boy

He goes to the office of his friend. There is no one. Maybe his friend just goes to someplace. Maybe he will come back a few minutes later. He is in the room and looks around. An interesting file on the desk, the boy is Core Sear who was in the phone as a main topic. His aim here is to ask more details about Core with his friend. He takes the file and looks very carefully.

“They are too similar.”

Another thing mentions in the phone call is that his friend wants him to take care of this boy, because he is just like Vincent Gray. He wants this patient now. He notices that it is later and he have to go back home. He brings the file and plans to research something during the night time. At whole week he is in his “study” that is the room in the basement doing the preparation of meeting the boy.

His wife is seemed not to care about him. She doesn’t talk to him, doesn’t cook and doesn’t find him in basement. He thinks the marriage will be done and he hates that. The most important is he has no idea to treat Core.

He finally comes up with the idea that is to meet Core and to follow his wife one day. He notices a small thing which can prove that his wife is missing him, because she always touches her ring on his finger, which is her wedding ring and she is crying at same time. He is confused. He gets an explanation on the whole matter, but it is crazy. He can’t image what will happen under that kind of situation. He implies that his wife gets the same problem as Vincent, “hallucinations.”

“What should I do? Should I meet Core first or treat my wife?”

“Shit!”






2 comments:

  1. I know English is not your first language and I think you have done a good job. I think a bit of editing would help for example I wasn't sure what you meant with this "An interesting file on the desk, the boy is Core Sear who was in the phone as a main topic".
    I like your use of rhetorical questions.

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  2. I agree with the comment above, I also believe that the dialogue is helpful and compliments the story nicely. I also liked the ‘rawness’ of the language used, as it made it seem more realistic. A few little things you could work on are sentences such as, “she ignore him as a stranger even no responding his question”. Which should be “she ignored him as a stranger, and did not respond to his question” possibly? I did get a little confused sometimes, because I didn’t quite understand what was happening, but I eventually got the gist of it, and enjoyed it (: great work!

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