Ao's draft

Black time (draft)

Notes: the story is based on the movie called The Sixth Sense (1999) and it happened before Dr. Malcolm met Cole and after Dr. Malcolm died.

Wiki link The Sixth Sense

What happened to me?

“Shit!”

“I’m dying? I’ve been shot? Why I can’t feel cold anymore? Eh…I’ll...fall into...sleep…cuz so tired.” Malcolm thinks.

“Malcolm…Malcolm...Malcolm” the voice of is vanishing over Doctor’s ears.

At next morning, he actually feels good. However one thing keeps bothering him, which is what happened last night? His memory is discontinuous. He just remembers one name called Vincent and the shout of his wife Anna. He wants to figure out the problem.

He plans to have a conversation with his wife, but Anna isn’t in the mood to talk. The fact is that he finds that she is extremely sad without any reason that he can imply to.

“What happened? What is the connection with the patient Vincent?”

He totally has no idea. “I have to work. Those children are waiting for me. I can’t be overreacted the matter happened last night. It will be fine.” he says to himself.

Weird things occur to him again and again. His patients don’t show up at his treatment room even one of them. His wife keeps crying almost every day. Besides, she ignore him as a stranger even no responding his question. He has no idea what to do expect keep waiting for both of his patients and his wife talking to him.

“Life is making fun of me”, he thinks, “I must find out what happened that night.”

“I need to know what changed my life. Yes, I can talk to Vincent Gray.”

Looking for Vincent Gray

“What?”

He is at the funeral of Vincent Gray. “Vincent died? How? When?”

Nobody replies his asking. Unfortunately, Malcolm who was the son of Philadelphia rewarded form the Mayor is like the air now.

“What a pathetic I am!” He hates this word to explain the situation that he is in, but facts doesn’t lie.

He can’t wait anymore and Vincent can’t give him the answers. The key is in his memory which cannot remember. He decides to recall his memories by reading the file of Vincent.

“You have a secret but you don’t want to tell me”…

“You are not a freak. Don’t you believe anybody that tells you that. It’s bullshit.”…

“Do you really see those ‘dead’ people?”…

Sounds come from the type of the conversation between him and Vincent. In addition, he also checks the document and he focuses on a final word, “hallucinations.”

“Am I wrong?”

After a few days, he is not care about the question, what happened that night, anymore. He works so hard to rethink the Vincent’s case. At same time, he finds that in Anna’s sorrow there is a little bit angry or not exactly angry more like depressed feeling of him.

“What have I done to my wife?”

Suddenly, he remembers a call from his friend who is a child psychologist same as him few days before that night. He decides to see his friend and discuss about the matter his word during the calling.

The boy

He goes to the office of his friend. There is no one. Maybe his friend just goes to someplace. Maybe he will come back a few minutes later. He is in the room and looks around. An interesting file on the desk, the boy is Core Sear who was in the phone as a main topic. His aim here is to ask more details about Core with his friend. He takes the file and looks very carefully.

“They are too similar.”

Another thing mentions in the phone call is that his friend wants him to take care of this boy, because he is just like Vincent Gray. He wants this patient now. He notices that it is later and he have to go back home. He brings the file and plans to research something during the night time. At whole week he is in his “study” that is the room in the basement doing the preparation of meeting the boy.

His wife is seemed not to care about him. She doesn’t talk to him, doesn’t cook and doesn’t find him in basement. He thinks the marriage will be done and he hates that. The most important is he has no idea to treat Core.

He finally comes up with the idea that is to meet Core and to follow his wife one day. He notices a small thing which can prove that his wife is missing him, because she always touches her ring on his finger, which is her wedding ring and she is crying at same time. He is confused. He gets an explanation on the whole matter, but it is crazy. He can’t image what will happen under that kind of situation. He implies that his wife gets the same problem as Vincent, “hallucinations.”

“What should I do? Should I meet Core first or treat my wife?”

“Shit!”

Tee's very ROUGH draft.

Half blood (?)

NOTE: I've yet to write up a good intro...

In saying that I have no problem with the whole marriage thing – it really makes no difference that I intend to spend the rest of my life with him. Mrs. Cullen, I don’t mind the sound of that at all.

What worries me are the disapproving looks I’ll get from Jacob and Charlie…but they’ll have to get used to it seeing I’m going to be with Edward forever (as in becoming immortal so literally FOREVER).

Speaking of Jake I agreed to have one last hang out with him before I tie the knot with Edward which just means a one way ticket to the “pale faces”.

Right now though I have a wedding to plan apparently, waiting for Alice to negotiate flower arrangements and seating plans..ugh…

“Hey Bella, Where’s Alice?” As Rosalie enters the room you can instantly smell her distinctive perfume as it quickly fills the room.

“I’m not sure, I’m waiting for her to organise wedding…stuff” I reply quickly as Rose’s presence always seem to intimidate me.

I know Rose has this effect on people with her beauty – but today she is looks exceptionally breathtaking, my eyes are fixed onto her like a predator preying on her features ready to pounce any second. I’ve found myself getting anxious and nervous – this is so strange.

“What are you looking at? Rosalie snaps me out of this euphoric state.

I hesitate “N…nothing, sorry”.

“Well, let me know when Alice is around” She demands walking out of the room.

My heart is still beating faster than ever – much like the first time I saw Edward…

Confused and trying to comprehend what just took place Alice startles me with her trolley of flowers, “BELLA!” – As she goes to take a seat next to mine she freezes into a trance, she’s having a vision.

Her facial expression shows confusion as her forehead creases and eyes in despair.

“What, what did you see??” I ask impatiently.

“Rosalie…she’s furious…at someone – I can’t quite make out whom, but it’s a woman. She’s yelling and screaming at her. It was frightening”.

My heart thuds once again as I hear Rosalie’s name.

“Why is she so angry?” Curious as if it has some relation to me.

“I don’t know. It was obscure. I’ve never seen Rosalie that angry for the period I’ve know her”.

Alice’s vision unresolved we settled with the agreement it had something to do with Emmett and moved onto the wedding planning, though the whole time all I could think of was Rose – Alice’s vision and my encounter with her earlier.

I met up with Edward briefly before it was time to hang with Jake. Edward had already seen what Alice had seen of course and he seemed to have brushed it off with the same theory we decided upon with Emmett. He admitted attempting to read Rosalie’s mind but he failed to do so only retrieving a blurred train of thoughts. I suggested a werewolf was involved as Alice’s vision seems to cut off with the interference of werewolves – but he didn’t buy the idea so I dropped it.

I reach Jake’s place with an unsettling, almost apprehensive feeling leeched onto me since I left the Cullen’s.

“Hey Bella”

I swear Jake is on steroids with how buff he looks every time we meet.

“Hey Jake, been working out?” I laugh.

“You know me ha-ha” He joins me in laughter and then initiates a greeting hug then realises “Whoa Bells, do you have a fever or something? Your body temperature is abnormally high” Jake asks me worried.

“Not that I know of” I reply surprised.

“It’s like extreme” Jake states.

Quick streams of thoughts rush through my head; mainly revolving around Rosalie.

Trying not to expose my thoughts I tell Jake “I feel fine; I’ve had a weird day though”.

“I think we should get you to a hospital, this is way out of the norm” Jake insists.

“Seriously Jake, I’m fine”

“No I’m SERIOUS Bella – let's go” His voice raised he grabs my arm dragging me in the direction of my truck.

William's Fan fiction draft

SNAKE'S END

Sokrovenno South, Tselinoyarsk. A Heavily forested area of the Soviet mountains comprising of snakes, crocodiles, and an autotrophic centenarian named ‘The End’. He is known as “the father of modern sniping” and is the man that Snake has to conquer if he is to complete his ‘Virtuous Misson’. A near impossible battle to win for a solider that only has in experience in urban and marine sniping enviroments.

Crouched in a position as to minimize his sound and visibility, Snake slowly makes his way through the forest’s undergrowth into a position under a tree that will provide him concealment. Trying to relax in order to figure out a way he can actually beat The End, Snake runs through the pros and cons of sniper’s habits of laying in perfect camouflage in the same position for days on end.

Pros -

-Nearly Impossible to be visually identified.
-Lack of movement conserves energy.
-Advantage of surprise.

Cons-

-Snipers are long range attackers and can be ineffective in hand-to-hand combat.
-Possible ‘sitting duck’ situation if identified through other means. Such as: Directional microphone, or Thermal goggles.
-The End is extremely old, and therefore his movement and reflexes may be hindered by old age.

With these things in mind Snake ran through a possible plan of action. Find some sort of height advantage, such as climb a tree or higher ground. Then search for The Ends location by using his thermal goggles to identify the body-shaped white glowing area that acknowledges The End’s existance. Once finding him, very very slowly return to cover and remain in cover and circumvent The Ends position. From there he will trap and eliminate The End.

Putting this plan into action, Snake surveys his surroundings and spots an old tree in the distance that is covered in climbable vines. Scaling the tree without effort and coming to rest on the thickest branch he could see, Snake removes the thermal goggles from his item cache and slips it over his eyes. Adjusting to his new visual environment as a palate of blurred black through blue, green and yellow washes over his eyes, he concentrates to distinguish the differences between trees, hillsides and gullies.

Gaining his sense of depth, he starts scouring this vista for his nemesis. After around 5 minutes of trying to spot this glowing needle in a haystack, Snake finally spots his enemy, glowing in the darkness on top of a cliff face around five hundred meters to the north. The contrast in temperature between The End and his surrounding negating any of advantage gained from camouflage and making him stand out like a light in a tunnel.With his enemy’s position now acquired, Snake can now perform the arduous task of hunting him down. Traversing back down the tree he decides the path of least difficulty will be to the west, where there is a smooth incline up to The End’s sniper’s nest. But there is also plently of shelter, cover, and long grass to keep Snake concealed from his enemy’s viewpoint.

Low and slow, Snake skulks up towards his enemy, making sure to remain extremely slow as so to not disturb any wild life in his hunt. For if there were to be any sudden flourishes of birds squawking and escaping, this would surely alert The End to snakes position. After three hours of emulating his namesake through long grass, Snake finally reaches the rear of the old man’s area. Equiping himself with thermal goggles again Snake easily spots his enemy, still as a blade of grass and glowing white hot.

Hours of anticipation and careful planning have lead to this moment, nothing must spoil it, and nothing must give away Snake’s position as he holds his breath and slowly inches forward with tiny steps. The excitement rises in Snake as he looks forward to ending this legend, his palms sweaty as he grasps the handgun in his right hand and knife in his left. With each step forward he can feel his eyelids widening, and his heart beginning to race as there is a sudden CLICK noise from below him. He suddenly stops. The End spins his head and sees Snake. There is an explosion and ball bearings rip through snake with no effort. The End’s trap had worked, Snake trampled straight into a claymore. It was GAME OVER for Snake.

Frustration and desperation has reached boiling point, Snake throws down the Playstation 2 controller in disgust, closes his eyes, and counts to 10 while inhaling and exhaling slowly. His composure now regained, Snake tries to think of a new way to beat his enemy. After a break from playing to complete some household chores, he comes up with no new plans. This leaves the only logical step: search the internet for a plan that is known to work. This task proves much simpler that his previous assignment, and a new angle on beating the decrepit old bastard surfaces. The internet informs Snake that if he saves his game, quits, then set his Playstation 2’s clock forward one week The End will die of old age. This seems too good to be true, but never the less, Snake carries out his new plan of action. After saving his game, and changing the clock forward, snake reloads his game. And to the disappointment of his superiors, Snake wins the battle in the cheapest way possible.

INFO LINKS:

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_Gear_Solid_3

The End-
http://metalgear.wikia.com/wiki/The_End

Ao’s 5 Fanfic Links

Remember me—silence of the lambs

This fanfic is talking about the story after Clarice has lost her memory. The story started when she met the Dr Lecter. Through the conversation between her and him, Clarice thought the man who had very kindly smile was charming to her. She liked him a little bit. Then something unexpected hit her memory about Dr. Lecter like a dark dream.

Well, although I don't like the romance between our lovely, honest and brave Clarice and evil， smart and elegant Dr Lecter, I still like the story. It has a good plot and reasonable development of it. The most importantly, the end of the story is surprisingly. It is short and strong and it gives a room of imagination.

Home Invasion 221B Baker Street—Sherlock Holmes

This is another case about secret code with dead symbol, which was in a letter found on the desk in Holmes’ apartment. Then, Mrs Hudson and Dr Watson had attacked by someone. Holmes came back to apartment and noticed that someone was in kitchen. After a fight, the criminals were caught by policy.

It has a very excellent starter. The suspense builds up and the code is interesting. However, the story goes on with a meaningless attacking and end of a fight. Well, I mean, where is our smart Holmes? As far I can see in this fanfic, there is only strong Holmes.

Sanji makes Soap—One Piece
This fanfic is telling the story of Sanji’s daily life. Sanji is a thief and he is worry about his soup that tastes like soap. His friend Zoro finds that Sanji is hopeless. So, Zoro drinks the soup with a shot for encouraging Sanji. At the end Sanji keep going on his cooking career.

I like the story. One of the most charming things in One Piece is about the friendship between those characters. I am really into the story. Sometimes, I think the friendship is such a beautiful thing.

Land of the Free, Home of the Brave—Pearl Harbor

The author is changing the end of the movie. He assumes that Rafe dead at China, not Danny. And there is a conversation between them just before Rafe can’t make it. “Land of the free. Home of the brave” are the last words.

It is sad and even more than the original end. Rafe lost his girl friend and his life. The only thing to console Rafe is the idea of the country. Is it the most important thing to be a hero? I prefer a normal life.

Revolution--I, Robot

The story is base on one character of movie, Farber, and his friend James. They stood out when NS-5s tried to revolution same as the hero Spooner. They met the bad situation and finally overcame though it is not easy at all. They exploded V.I.K.I. in the fanfiction, not as Spooner did in the movie.

I am not saying this is boring but, the story is similar with the movie. It just changes the heroes which one is Spooner and one is Farber. Besides, the author doesn’t mention the evolution of the NS-4s and other NS robots, which are my favorite part of the movie and the most important helpers against the VIKI. However, the words he used are easy to understand. It means that the audiences will be widely including children and foreigners.

Tee's reviews

Big girls don't cry
A post - "Twilight" story from Alice Cullen's point of view. Her life as a "normal" person on the contrary of being a vampire. This particular chapter she is reflecting on her past and how she met and fell in love with Jasper.

I really liked her style of the story - using flashbacks to introduce the characters and how they have become a significant part of Alice's life. The story was creative and very detailed which got me hooked into finishing the story till the end. I was thrown off by some inconsistency with her formality of writing, the majority of her writing was very formal but then sometimes there would be casual use of words (like "sorta"). Otherwise, it was fun to read!



Healing wounds
This story is a version of Twlight's second book where it explores what happened to Bella after her love Edward left her. In the "real" story Bella falls in love with Jacob (a werewolf) until she is eventually reunited with Edward.

In this story Bella falls in love with another werewolf in Jacob's pack giving us a creative twist making this fanfiction an interesting read.

The writer used the base of what actually happened in "New Moon" (Twilight's sequel) using the same characters, same plot and similar dialogue (testing my memory) to create this twist. Being familiar with the story myself; I thought she chose an intriguing character who Bella supposedly falls for.
She also switched the POV of who was telling the story which I thought was a very smart move to on her part. Again relating back to the "real" story the whole book was based from Bella's POV so it's exciting to see how the story progresses from another character's perspective.

The writer ended her first page as a cliffhanger to induce readers, which definitely worked for me!


Wonderland

The first Harry Potter crossed with CW's Gossip Girl story I've read. I'm personally a huge Gossip Girl fan and have enjoyed watching all the Harry Potter movies so this was an obvious winner.
The writer has based the storyline on the Harry Potter books, taking out the original characters and replacing them with the Gossip Girl cast. The characters are introduced in seperate paragraphs and each character's scene depicts them receiving their acceptance letter into Hogwarts, here, we learn more about the characteristics of each individual - their family situation and their attitude towards Hogwarts.

I was really impressed with the style of her writing and how it was set up - my first impression after reading this story was how the text was very easily/comfortably read. Most fanfiction links I enter look so intimidating at first glimpse I don't even bother starting to read it, this is mostly due to the clutter and spacing of paragraphs which I think is important publishing your writing via websites - this writer did an efficient job with the layout.

What I found most thrilling about this story was the evenly balanced disection of each of the two cannons to create this crossover. I would personally imagine difficulty in any successfu crossover to avoid dominance in one cannon over the other, I think she did an excellent job.




























Life as we know it

A fanfiction based from movie "Fight Club" - if you haven't seen it yet I highly recommend you do sometime in your lifetime..
Fanfiction is set right after the last scene of the movie so continuing on from what was the end of "Fight Club". Story is told from Marla's POV who appeared in the last scene of the movie after finding Tyler had shot himself - she desperately tries to save him by carrying him out of the building to find a hospital. In parallel to her struggle to keep Tyler alive Marla is in a constant fight within herself to why she is saving Tyler reflecting from the majority of the movie where she seemed a minority in his life.

The writer's portrayal of Marla in this Fanfiction was really good, it was believeable in the sense that if the actual movie had carried on this would have happened from her POV.

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQHRm-opJZi0Dg2RQuDkZLADaA2KMip54Pu-0sfXujUTDse0KgH

Noah's Fanfic Reviews

The Calm before the Storm.

(true-blood)
Chapter 1-3

These three chapters were quite interesting, but seemed if anything very cliche.Written in 3rd person, Eric has married Sookie and has persuaded her to leave her life and live with him, taking a job as the mistress of Fangtasia etc….. Later on Sookie finds out she is pregnant and is carrying Erics child. Although in the actual episodes this is highly unlikely, it's a storyline that would go well with Team Eric fans.What I liked about this was that it was written extremely well. The grammar was also quite good, considering you find a lot of spelling and grammatical errors on fan fiction.I was extremely disappointed that the writer did not play with the story-line a little more, and it just seemed almost like a copy of twilight, yet a lot more grittier. I found the idea of Sookie being pregnant to Eric to out of context, and to close to the storyline of twilight.

In Another life, a Harry Potter fanfic.

This fanfic, was strangely intriguing it had the right combination of suspense and mystery. The story surrounds Severus Snape and what would of happened if he had killed himself and Harry Potter .The most interesting twist to thischapter is that Severus wakes up in a parallel universe, and to his astonishment he is married to the love of his life Lily( Harry Potters mother), and has a daughter to her.This story felt more like a Severus fan fulfilling his/hers dreams of finally seeing Severus with the love of his life Lily, and there isn't much in the way of Magic. I personally believe that the pure awesomeness of Severus is that he is this dark evil almost gothic character in the books and that by giving him a happy ending, it almost seems a little wrong. Even so the story was extremely sweet, and definitely left you wanting to read more purely out curiosity. Sadly though there is no other chapters

The Stranger At the Bottom Of The Garden (Edward Sisscorhands and Alice in Wonderland)

Such a cute story!. This story combined together the vivid imagery of Wonderland, and the odd characteristics of Edward Sissorhand's. In this Fanfic it shows life after the conquering of the Queen of Hearts and the restoration of Wonderland. Alice has decided to stay in the' under land', and here she encounters Edward in the woods…..The great thing about this story was that the combination worked very,very well. In a way it worked so well because both Edward and Alice are such innocent characters. It was extremely well written. The only disappointment was that there wasn't more to the story, and although it was a sweet ending It left me a little dissatisfied. I really believe their would be a lot of potential in this story, and their were so many possible twists just waiting to be told!. The writer mentioned that Edward was very similar to the Mad Hatter. And wrote how alice could see a connection. I found this clever as they are played by the same actor and this opened so much potential for the story. I found it smart because both characters are quite extreme yet in two completely contrasting ways. And that if not for the physical similarities they are quite opposite, which made it believable that they could be brothers. This made me want to read more!!!

The Forbidden destiny Chapter 1 - The beginning of A New Era.

This Fanfic was written in First person and is a crossover between Harry Potter and Alice and Wonderland. After reading a few fanfics on Alice and Wonderland, I knew that I had to find a cross-over with Harry Potter.Sadly though I was slightly disappointed in this story because it was so messy. The story consists of Draco Malfoy being turned into a vampire by Lord Dracula, after the defeat of Voldemort by Harry Potter. I found this story very choppy. I thought that the 'idea' behindthe story was a lot more intriguing then the first chapter itself. Although their is so much potential especially for a romance possibly between Alice and Draco.I found it a little confusing to read as you couldn't quite tell what was happening. I also happened to read some reviews and found out that twilight is also included in some of the chapters. This was a tad disappointing as i'm not a big fan of twilight, and felt that it would make otherwise a great idea, a little tacky.

Her Dark Secret - A Harry Potter Fanfic.

Written in 3rd Person this fanfic is about Draco and Hermione. Draco is on the run from the dark lord. and Dumbledore, Snape, and Mcgonagall decide that the safest place for him to take refugee is with Hermione Granger, A muggle, and an obvious enemy of his.The thing that I liked the most about this fanfic is that it was able to hold onto the 'personalities' of each character exceptionally well. I also found it humorous and not annoyingly humorous, but quite witty. I could imagine a lot of snapes one liners in the actual books. Overall it was light reading that left you curiously wanting to find out more, and has the potential to be very addictive.